Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Are we a "one and done" family?

Just after we got married, the question every one asked was, "So when are ya'll going to have a baby?!" Why the two must go hand in hand and happen almost simultaneously is still unclear to me. 

Although, I will admit, I too am guilty of asking newlyweds when they will become parents.


But now....Now that Lainey is just over a year old, the big question is "So when is number 2 coming along?"

Well I will tell you...wait for it...It's not.

At least he or she is not anywhere on my plan or radar 
at this point.

Yes, I realize what I just said... for all of those holding on to the notion that we will have another baby, I have left it somewhat open-ended.  BUT the only reason I respond this way, is because I realize there is a greater plan and I can not say with 100% certainty that #2 is not in His plan for us.

But, I have had this conversation with myself - with my husband - with my friends - with my mother - with my aunts - anyone who asks, really.  

And I mean this with every fiber of my being... 

I truthfully and am enjoying being a mother of one.  I can't even wrap my mind around being a mom of more kids at this time.  Life is so fun with Lainey.  And there is totally - two schools of thought on that - one is fun so 2 must be REALLY fun orrrrr one is good so why mess with a good thing? I tend to lean more towards to the latter.

At this point in conversations, some people say, "Oh you must be an only child. You don't know what it's like to have a sibling."

FALSE.

I have 2 sisters and a brother.

I love each of them very dearly.  And I admit, I can't imagine life without them. But there are so many years between each of us, it's like being an only child.  You see, I have the best of both worlds. I have the support and love of a sibling, but never had to share my toys.  By the time my little sister was born, I was already in middle school; the damage had been done and lucky for my mom, I was pretty self-sufficient.

We call it the "12-year itch" in my family... interesting fact: there are about 12 years between me and each of my sisters and about 12 years between my little sister and Lainey.

The whole idea of paying for college and proms and weddings and life in general, is scary enough. Now multiply it by 2 (or even more) and it's absolutely terrifying to me.

I pride myself on time management and the mommy gene I hold in my DNA strand, but I just don't know...  Can it be done? Oh, definitely!  Do I think it's right for us? Jury is still out.

Add my fears to the emergency birth of child #1 and it just doesn't settle well with me.  Call me crazy, but one emergency c-section and one long NICU adventure is enough to last me a lifetime!

Do I love babies? Oh Lord yes - their smell, their giggles, their fuzzy hair.  All of it - I LOVE ALL OF IT!  But do I love high blood pressures, swollen feet, c-sections, and being a human cow? Nope.

Do I love Lainey?  ABSOLUTELY!  With every piece of my heart.  Can I share that love?  Why, of course!

This whole discussion and brain-dump lends itself to the question... do you think a child needs a sibling?

To be honest - no, I don't think a child needs a sibling.  I already told you I couldn't imagine my life without my siblings.  This is true.  But that's because they are a part of my family - they help make up who I am.  But I don't think Lainey needs a brother or sister to develop or grow into a good person.

I like our life as a trio and I am fine with keeping it that way...

Every family is different, so please don't consider this me thinking negatively on families with more than one child.  In fact, it's the opposite of that. I commend you because I don't know how you do it!!

xoxo,
Linda


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